My class is chugging along. I'm not as inspired to go to it for two reasons. The first is the teacher. She is of a really err.. shall we say 'unique' disposition. She got REALLY angry when I asked her a question the first class, in front of the class, and since then, it has been walking on eggshells with her. I notice she's definitely trying to be nicer to me.. throwing out compliments here and there.. and I'm trying to act as yielding and non-confrontational as the lobotomized cat in the psych 11 texbook, but I still cannot bring myself to ask her anymore questions in front of the class from now on.
Which sucks, because we are doing math and graphics-related stuff now (the 2nd reason I'm not as inspired), which I find challenging. I want to learn more about plants and less about angles and measurements.
I noticed last class, when other students asked her questions in front of the class, she ignored one question that politely questioned her information in more depth than she was willing to go, and to the other student, she just replied 'HUH?' and shook her head in a 'Are you speaking alien-talk?' way when he provided additional info she wasn't familiar with. How are students supposed to learn when their questions are responded to with such hostility?
All of this adds up to me feeling rather miserable in the class, especially since I gave up 2/3rds of my income plus tuition to take the class. I guess maybe next time I will post questions on local discussion forums, asking people to PM me with info about the teacher and class, before registering.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Parade of Lost Souls
It was my third time attending this parade on Commercial Drive, and I went as No Face from Spirited Away. I think the character was perfect for me. I liked how I mystified people. I felt sneaky when everyone thought my eyes were looking out of the mask, instead of the hidden black mesh below it. I felt smug when big macho guys felt intimidated and came up close to make faces or 'playfully' punch me or shake my hand. Little babies chased me, SFU students recruited me for a film, Japanese girls screamed and grabbed 'gold' (Werther's candies!) out of my hands, and mothers pushed their ambivalent kids towards me to take pics. It was a blast getting into character.. bowing, offering gold, and basically not talking, save for a few 'uhs' when offering gold.
The most liberating part is being able to interact with society without caring what expression is on your face! I could be sticking my tongue out, walking with my eyes closed, being bored, and nobody could tell since all they saw was the face two feet above my head. I wish real life was like that.. I wish we could walk around all day and show our real emotions, without having to force fake laughs out of politeness, or contorting our faces in many ways to show things we don't really feel, or to communicate in ways our hands cannot. Every day, we wake up and put on our 'society masks.' And ironically, it is only in the putting of a physical Halloween mask over our faces that we can let our real emotions show. I wonder what the repercussions or benefits would be of taking off the societal mask.
The tomato cage on my shoulder, responsible for giving me an extra 2.5 feet of height, starting digging into my shoulder a bit, and my lower back was sore. But overall, everything stayed in place, and the pho we ate after was SO delicious and well-deserved! (My costume prevented me from eating or drinking anything from 5-10pm).
My friend and I both agreed that the costumes the previous year had been cooler. But I've been looking at some of the pics on Flickr, and it seems we missed several really good costumes.. like a walking bar, a Queen Victoria in a gorgeous hand-sewn dress, cat robot and penis that shot silly string. Good costumes we saw were a kid in a biohazard box on a stretcher pushed by white suited guys, an octopus, a can of Raid, Noah's Ark and a band of robots playing Daft Punk.
The most liberating part is being able to interact with society without caring what expression is on your face! I could be sticking my tongue out, walking with my eyes closed, being bored, and nobody could tell since all they saw was the face two feet above my head. I wish real life was like that.. I wish we could walk around all day and show our real emotions, without having to force fake laughs out of politeness, or contorting our faces in many ways to show things we don't really feel, or to communicate in ways our hands cannot. Every day, we wake up and put on our 'society masks.' And ironically, it is only in the putting of a physical Halloween mask over our faces that we can let our real emotions show. I wonder what the repercussions or benefits would be of taking off the societal mask.
The tomato cage on my shoulder, responsible for giving me an extra 2.5 feet of height, starting digging into my shoulder a bit, and my lower back was sore. But overall, everything stayed in place, and the pho we ate after was SO delicious and well-deserved! (My costume prevented me from eating or drinking anything from 5-10pm).
My friend and I both agreed that the costumes the previous year had been cooler. But I've been looking at some of the pics on Flickr, and it seems we missed several really good costumes.. like a walking bar, a Queen Victoria in a gorgeous hand-sewn dress, cat robot and penis that shot silly string. Good costumes we saw were a kid in a biohazard box on a stretcher pushed by white suited guys, an octopus, a can of Raid, Noah's Ark and a band of robots playing Daft Punk.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
On Kids
Sometimes I just love my kids (students)!! It totally depends on the kid, the class and my mood. I marvel at how different each personality is at such young ages, even between siblings. It makes me wonder.. just how much of a personality is determined by 'nurture?' 'Nature' seems to play a larger role. Some kids are brats and I can tell they don't get as much attention from their parents, who probably use videogames to babysit. I've noticed that other teachers like some of the students who I think are brats. So again, it's very subjective how one determines what their ideal kid would be like. I want to have kids ONLY if their personalities can be like those of my favorite students.. but how can I ensure this happens?
While other teachers value the lippy, talkative kids.. the ones who are in sync with pop culture, and can dish out quick witty barbs, I like the ones who are laid back and easygoing, who have no concept of what 'cool' is. And because they have no need to validate their existence with their peers, they are free to be whoever they want to be, and learn whatever they want to learn. Unfortunately I wasn't like that as a kid.. I cared too much about what others thought. I tried to fit in, and grew grumpy or snarky if I couldn't, often releasing this anger to my parents or in diaries. So if I can learn one thing from my students, it's to always be receptive to knowledge, don't even think about impressing society, don't stress, and be kind to everyone. Perhaps if I can BE that person, I could mould my own progeny into having the same character (if some day I do procreate).
While other teachers value the lippy, talkative kids.. the ones who are in sync with pop culture, and can dish out quick witty barbs, I like the ones who are laid back and easygoing, who have no concept of what 'cool' is. And because they have no need to validate their existence with their peers, they are free to be whoever they want to be, and learn whatever they want to learn. Unfortunately I wasn't like that as a kid.. I cared too much about what others thought. I tried to fit in, and grew grumpy or snarky if I couldn't, often releasing this anger to my parents or in diaries. So if I can learn one thing from my students, it's to always be receptive to knowledge, don't even think about impressing society, don't stress, and be kind to everyone. Perhaps if I can BE that person, I could mould my own progeny into having the same character (if some day I do procreate).
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Fall.
It's this time of year I miss Ontario the most. Every October, when the leaves start to change colour, I'm tempted to pack my bags and fly to Ontario, abandoning life as I know it in Vancouver. There is so much Vancouver is missing in terms of seasonal change. Sometimes, I feel like the year is one big season because each individual season is not properly separated from the next, and celebrated.
In the fall, in Ontario, the sugar maples, which are twice as big as any maple here, slowly, slowly start to turn a majestic shade of deep crimson red in a few select spots. Like spectacular disease, the tree succumbs to this red, which grows and spreads. Other parts of the tree dance with yellow, orange and green. The leaves fall in torrents, creating piles a layer so thick, you can flop down on the ground and immediately disappear, never to be seen again. The leaves crackle and smell delicious.. like opening an old musty box filled with papers, or, as I recently discovered, like sipping Thai tea.
Various seeds start to dry and pop out of their seed heads. The skies are perfectly clear and the sunsets spectacular for days on end. The sun is a deep golden yellow, still warm, and colours even the darkest knotty wood fence a friendly tone. The crisp air competes with the sun's warmth, and the resulting sensation is haunting. The dew turns to frost that crunches under foot. Animals scurry about. Chickidees, squirrels, foxes, deer.. all trying to horde as much food as they can. Geese dot the horizon, grow larger, scream overhead, and then dot the horizon again. You wonder how the geese choose their lead goose. Does he just assume the position, or is he elected? The neighbours are busy grooming and training their prize cows to walk behind the tractor. Other tractors are busy baling hay (alfalfa) into huge round bales behind the house. The alfalfa smells sweet, sort of like marijuana.
With fall comes two of the most exciting events of the year. The first is the fall fair. The second is Halloween. I miss the fall fair more. Each town has it's own version of the fall fair. There are tractor pulling contests, workhorse pulling contests, dressage contests, barrel racing, horse and buggy contests, pumpkin growing contests, photography and art contests, baking contests, pet contests, .. basically a lot of contests, and being a competitive person, I'd try and enter as many as I could. Some of the coolest contests were the 'weirdest carrot shape' and 'biggest maple leaf.' If I was in Ontario I'd still be entering contests, and/or volunteering to set up so other kids could carry on the tradition. There were also numerous exhibitions put on by the local 4-H clubs, and farmers used the opportunity to show off their best livestock.
October. Plane ticket. Ontario. If it doesn't happen one of these years I'll be surprised at my restraint. And it might be a one-way ticket.
In the fall, in Ontario, the sugar maples, which are twice as big as any maple here, slowly, slowly start to turn a majestic shade of deep crimson red in a few select spots. Like spectacular disease, the tree succumbs to this red, which grows and spreads. Other parts of the tree dance with yellow, orange and green. The leaves fall in torrents, creating piles a layer so thick, you can flop down on the ground and immediately disappear, never to be seen again. The leaves crackle and smell delicious.. like opening an old musty box filled with papers, or, as I recently discovered, like sipping Thai tea.
Various seeds start to dry and pop out of their seed heads. The skies are perfectly clear and the sunsets spectacular for days on end. The sun is a deep golden yellow, still warm, and colours even the darkest knotty wood fence a friendly tone. The crisp air competes with the sun's warmth, and the resulting sensation is haunting. The dew turns to frost that crunches under foot. Animals scurry about. Chickidees, squirrels, foxes, deer.. all trying to horde as much food as they can. Geese dot the horizon, grow larger, scream overhead, and then dot the horizon again. You wonder how the geese choose their lead goose. Does he just assume the position, or is he elected? The neighbours are busy grooming and training their prize cows to walk behind the tractor. Other tractors are busy baling hay (alfalfa) into huge round bales behind the house. The alfalfa smells sweet, sort of like marijuana.
With fall comes two of the most exciting events of the year. The first is the fall fair. The second is Halloween. I miss the fall fair more. Each town has it's own version of the fall fair. There are tractor pulling contests, workhorse pulling contests, dressage contests, barrel racing, horse and buggy contests, pumpkin growing contests, photography and art contests, baking contests, pet contests, .. basically a lot of contests, and being a competitive person, I'd try and enter as many as I could. Some of the coolest contests were the 'weirdest carrot shape' and 'biggest maple leaf.' If I was in Ontario I'd still be entering contests, and/or volunteering to set up so other kids could carry on the tradition. There were also numerous exhibitions put on by the local 4-H clubs, and farmers used the opportunity to show off their best livestock.
October. Plane ticket. Ontario. If it doesn't happen one of these years I'll be surprised at my restraint. And it might be a one-way ticket.
There's life after 25.. and it's great!
I'm starting a new blog. I have a dozen of them already, but sometimes I just like to start over on a blank slate. I will continue to do this until blogging ceases to be in vogue (ie. the day we all communicate with ESP). The title? Because I turned 25 this year, and I hated the day. Then, the clouds cleared away and I realized that I have more options now than I've ever had my whole life. I'm finally choosing the career I want, and life is just GOOD.
My mom turned 60 a couple days ago and I called and asked her how it felt. "Old," she said. And that surprised me. People often say they still feel like a child. To be honest though, I think my mom grows more beautiful inside and out, with age. She has a bit more patience, she tries new things she wouldn't have considered years ago, she's less stressed out, her tastes are a bit more refined, and her garden is always improved. Plus she's more active than I am, running around dealing with 20 preschool kids each day. I wrote in her birthday card that when I look at her, I'm not afraid to age. I've finally embraced the fact that life is better when it's not eternal. And that's a liberating feeling.
I'm going to go post this now, and type more separate entries, because I like to compartmentalize my life (If the number of blogs I have wasn't already an indicator!)
My mom turned 60 a couple days ago and I called and asked her how it felt. "Old," she said. And that surprised me. People often say they still feel like a child. To be honest though, I think my mom grows more beautiful inside and out, with age. She has a bit more patience, she tries new things she wouldn't have considered years ago, she's less stressed out, her tastes are a bit more refined, and her garden is always improved. Plus she's more active than I am, running around dealing with 20 preschool kids each day. I wrote in her birthday card that when I look at her, I'm not afraid to age. I've finally embraced the fact that life is better when it's not eternal. And that's a liberating feeling.
I'm going to go post this now, and type more separate entries, because I like to compartmentalize my life (If the number of blogs I have wasn't already an indicator!)
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