Christmas has been great! I have about 5 boxes of chocolates/cookies currently on the go. The latest edition, a 4 lb box of Belgium choc covered cookies that my mom gave to bf (the bf predicted I'd be the main consumer and what do you know.. self fulfilling prophesy!)
We had hotpot at my folks last night, and turkey dinner at boy's grandmas house the nite before. Boy's uncle commanded that boy make the same turkey every year. An aunt (the sweet quiet one that I like) ardently asked him for the recipes to everything, because her boys loved it so much. Also a hit were my mashed potatoes, his gravy, and his blood orange cranberry sauce, which made great smoothies after.
my mom buys the weirdest gifts. ie. for my brother, she got, in this order:
- a pen holder with folk art llamas on it (he doesnt have a desk job or care for llamas)
- a medicine mask (no idea what for)
- a hand-cranked flashlight with radio and personal alarm (the noise from hand-cranking is louder than the alarm, lol)
- an emergency foil blanket
.. and she got me a 72 hour emergency kit, so I think she's got a 6th sense the rest of us were born without.
My family loved their gifts, especially my dad and his backpack and my bro and his Cdn Tire gc!
I feel pretty spoiled this year too.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Sunday, December 23, 2007
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
OMG HI I'M DRUKNK AND I'M SOBRING UP NOW AND MY BOY WAS SO GOOD TONIGHT.. HE DIDNT EVEN DRINK ONE DROP. I AM THE DURNK ONE, AND THE ROOM, IT IS SPPINGING!
HEE HEE.
WE HAD SUCH A GOOD TIME AT SERA'S PLACE. SHE MAD AWESEOME CHEESCEAKE! OMG AND I REALLYH AM AUTISTIC.. I TOOK THIS TEST THAT SHOWS I AM.
HEE HEE.
WE HAD SUCH A GOOD TIME AT SERA'S PLACE. SHE MAD AWESEOME CHEESCEAKE! OMG AND I REALLYH AM AUTISTIC.. I TOOK THIS TEST THAT SHOWS I AM.
Friday, December 21, 2007
Please may I be a bot again?
I applied for a boring / potentially stressful customer service desk job at a large company. The job would be similar to the one that nearly drove me mental from its boring, repetitive tasks before I left for Korea.
Fuck me.* The sole thing that would drive me on for two years though (the amount of time I'd like to remain in this position, ideally) would be the fact that I need to save about $70,000 for grad school. And it would also be nice to be able to afford real groceries again.
*Please disregard the language. Been watching too much Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares on the Food Network.
Fuck me.* The sole thing that would drive me on for two years though (the amount of time I'd like to remain in this position, ideally) would be the fact that I need to save about $70,000 for grad school. And it would also be nice to be able to afford real groceries again.
*Please disregard the language. Been watching too much Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares on the Food Network.
Aha!
I know what causes drama in my life. In new social interactions, I rely on fact, rather than intuition.
This may be tied to the fact that I think I'm a tiny bit autistic, as I see traits in myself that are very similar to my father's (who sometimes states that he thinks HE is a tiny bit autistic).
People who have a tiny bit of autism (ie. Asperger's Syndrome) often react based entirely on fact, and while they recognize body language and contextual clues, they for some reason often do not react based on those bits of info in an actual interaction.
In retrospect, both for the teacher thing and the car thing, the warning signs were there, and I should have been able to gather data regarding each person's personality, their speech, the lack thereof, and so on, to gauge what kind of information I would in turn supply, when, and how.
But because my responses were not finely tuned enough, because I was not perceptive enough regarding each individual, hell broke loose.
It wasn't because I wasn't polite or PC enough. And I often find myself being overly polite and PC to compensate. It was just because I didn't contextualize my responses.
Am I on to something here? Or maybe I'm just full of horse poo....
This may be tied to the fact that I think I'm a tiny bit autistic, as I see traits in myself that are very similar to my father's (who sometimes states that he thinks HE is a tiny bit autistic).
People who have a tiny bit of autism (ie. Asperger's Syndrome) often react based entirely on fact, and while they recognize body language and contextual clues, they for some reason often do not react based on those bits of info in an actual interaction.
In retrospect, both for the teacher thing and the car thing, the warning signs were there, and I should have been able to gather data regarding each person's personality, their speech, the lack thereof, and so on, to gauge what kind of information I would in turn supply, when, and how.
But because my responses were not finely tuned enough, because I was not perceptive enough regarding each individual, hell broke loose.
It wasn't because I wasn't polite or PC enough. And I often find myself being overly polite and PC to compensate. It was just because I didn't contextualize my responses.
Am I on to something here? Or maybe I'm just full of horse poo....
Got my car back.
The great exchange happened today. I handed a wad of $100 bills worth several grand to the Persian mafia in the parking lot at the local mall today. I made sure to dress sharp so they knew I meant business. He was very sullen and silent and reminded me of a baby who had just had a tantrum because their bottle had been yanked away, but had been returned the bottle. Very different from the irate and threatening person on Monday with whom I'd engaged in the most stressful verbal battle. I had to suppress a smile.
I had envisioned having to engage in fisticuffs with the Persian mafia, bodies being thrown into trunks, a secret stash of strategically placed, muscular mafia friends grouped around the parking lot, ready to fight at the tap of a finger. The police being called, and Christmas shoppers throwing their presents in the air as they dashed away in surprise. All day I spent envisioning myself applying roundhouse kicks and swift uppercuts to the jugular.
Alas it was the most uneventful, smooth transaction I could ever ask for, and the resulting peace of mind is PRICELESS (My brother later told me he had kept a wrench in his pocket just in case they pulled anything stupid.. but they were as peaceful as swans). Thank God for the happy ending.
It seems that no matter how careful or pleasant I try to be, drama seems to unfold around me often, whenever I interact with random people in society (ie. my teacher last semester). Do I lack some sort of social savoir faire? Do I not think through the repercussions of my choices throughly before acting? Am I naive? Do I not take enough initiative to prevent misunderstanding? Are the events I'm thinking about really nothing dramatic at all, but I just interpret them as such? Am I just a big DRAMA MAGNET? Probably a combo of all the above, and it is definitely part of the reason I tend to avoid new people, I think.
Animals and plants are just so much easier to deal with.
I had envisioned having to engage in fisticuffs with the Persian mafia, bodies being thrown into trunks, a secret stash of strategically placed, muscular mafia friends grouped around the parking lot, ready to fight at the tap of a finger. The police being called, and Christmas shoppers throwing their presents in the air as they dashed away in surprise. All day I spent envisioning myself applying roundhouse kicks and swift uppercuts to the jugular.
Alas it was the most uneventful, smooth transaction I could ever ask for, and the resulting peace of mind is PRICELESS (My brother later told me he had kept a wrench in his pocket just in case they pulled anything stupid.. but they were as peaceful as swans). Thank God for the happy ending.
It seems that no matter how careful or pleasant I try to be, drama seems to unfold around me often, whenever I interact with random people in society (ie. my teacher last semester). Do I lack some sort of social savoir faire? Do I not think through the repercussions of my choices throughly before acting? Am I naive? Do I not take enough initiative to prevent misunderstanding? Are the events I'm thinking about really nothing dramatic at all, but I just interpret them as such? Am I just a big DRAMA MAGNET? Probably a combo of all the above, and it is definitely part of the reason I tend to avoid new people, I think.
Animals and plants are just so much easier to deal with.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
A life without clouds would mean sunburn.
When I was a teen, it was always like there was a big cloud over my life. I think I was mildly depressed in highschool, and I always felt grumpy.. but mostly just numb. I would actually throw my body to the ground in order to feel something, but I was even numb to pain. I hated those days of emptiness. After age 20, things reversed. That big cloud has been exchanged for sun. It's like anything is possible now and I can see there is a future that is potentially exciting and worth living.
However, instead of the big grey cloud covering the whole earth, there are little zippy black clouds that hang right over my head. I know they're temporary and I'd much rather feel the intense emotion they cause than the highschool numbness; however, they're annoying and bothersome nonetheless.
One of them is my dog - she's almost 16, getting old, and the living being I care most about in the world. I guess it's because she loves me unconditionally and she has no concept of being mean. When I go home my parents always remark how she knows I'm in the house because she acts totally different.. whining and prancing for attention (well as much as her old bones allow). Anyway, she's lost control of her bladder and sleeps in pee sometimes. Last night I cried for 3 hrs just thinking about her. To be honest I've cried a lot over the past few years, at night when I can't sleep.. 'advance grieving' I suppose, so that I don't have to grieve as much after she dies (YEAH right.. I'm going to be a COMPLETE AND UTTER BASKET CASE when that time comes). I can't even comprehend why this upsets me so much. Well I guess I sort of can.. she's been with me since I was a kid. She was the teddy bear I hugged and told all my problems to in grade 6 when I moved to a new school and had no friends. I was the only person who could comfort her when she had to ride the big scary plane over to BC. We're both scaredy cats. She's still a puppy inside. She's like my kid. Kids shouldn't die before parents. I will write more later about Lady. Maybe every day.
The other one is my car. I thought I sold it, but the guy was very greedy and impatient and didn't even fill out his half of the icbc sellers form. I let him take it for a price much lower than what I originally asked for, and due to an oversight (lack of research) on his part, he called me back later wanting a refund. At first I said okay. Then, after advice from family and friends (brother, BF, and BF's friend all said 'tell him to go fuck himself' and that he had 'nothing on me legally'), I said no. Then he got extremely angry and threatened to call the police / sue me / get me a criminal record, etc. He's a big persian guy too and I had visions of the persian mafia shooting my house. Believe me, I had the most fitful, stressful sleep the other night. I don't handle stress like that very well, and basically just hibernated under the blankets all day and night. Despite that, I had the balls to tell him to 'go ahead' and call the police if he wanted, and hang up on him. Well he didn't, and a few days later we've come to an agreement to refund the car, and I keep $100. The exchange happens tomorrow. I'm a little nervous, but it will be in a public place, so I don't think he'll pull any stunts. Wish me luck. And wish me luck with selling the car in the future, because this car sure seems to stick to me like glue.
However, instead of the big grey cloud covering the whole earth, there are little zippy black clouds that hang right over my head. I know they're temporary and I'd much rather feel the intense emotion they cause than the highschool numbness; however, they're annoying and bothersome nonetheless.
One of them is my dog - she's almost 16, getting old, and the living being I care most about in the world. I guess it's because she loves me unconditionally and she has no concept of being mean. When I go home my parents always remark how she knows I'm in the house because she acts totally different.. whining and prancing for attention (well as much as her old bones allow). Anyway, she's lost control of her bladder and sleeps in pee sometimes. Last night I cried for 3 hrs just thinking about her. To be honest I've cried a lot over the past few years, at night when I can't sleep.. 'advance grieving' I suppose, so that I don't have to grieve as much after she dies (YEAH right.. I'm going to be a COMPLETE AND UTTER BASKET CASE when that time comes). I can't even comprehend why this upsets me so much. Well I guess I sort of can.. she's been with me since I was a kid. She was the teddy bear I hugged and told all my problems to in grade 6 when I moved to a new school and had no friends. I was the only person who could comfort her when she had to ride the big scary plane over to BC. We're both scaredy cats. She's still a puppy inside. She's like my kid. Kids shouldn't die before parents. I will write more later about Lady. Maybe every day.
The other one is my car. I thought I sold it, but the guy was very greedy and impatient and didn't even fill out his half of the icbc sellers form. I let him take it for a price much lower than what I originally asked for, and due to an oversight (lack of research) on his part, he called me back later wanting a refund. At first I said okay. Then, after advice from family and friends (brother, BF, and BF's friend all said 'tell him to go fuck himself' and that he had 'nothing on me legally'), I said no. Then he got extremely angry and threatened to call the police / sue me / get me a criminal record, etc. He's a big persian guy too and I had visions of the persian mafia shooting my house. Believe me, I had the most fitful, stressful sleep the other night. I don't handle stress like that very well, and basically just hibernated under the blankets all day and night. Despite that, I had the balls to tell him to 'go ahead' and call the police if he wanted, and hang up on him. Well he didn't, and a few days later we've come to an agreement to refund the car, and I keep $100. The exchange happens tomorrow. I'm a little nervous, but it will be in a public place, so I don't think he'll pull any stunts. Wish me luck. And wish me luck with selling the car in the future, because this car sure seems to stick to me like glue.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Books
Xmas gifts I ordered for le boi:
* 1 of: The Making of a Chef: Mastering Heat at the Culinary Institute
Sold by: Amazon.com, LLC
* 1 of: Controlling Your Drinking: Tools to Make Moderation Work for You
Sold by: Amazon.com, LLC
Gift note included with the first: "May you be the next Remy." (The cooking Rat from Ratatouille)
Gift note included with the second: "May you not be the next Lindsay Lohan."
* 1 of: The Making of a Chef: Mastering Heat at the Culinary Institute
Sold by: Amazon.com, LLC
* 1 of: Controlling Your Drinking: Tools to Make Moderation Work for You
Sold by: Amazon.com, LLC
Gift note included with the first: "May you be the next Remy." (The cooking Rat from Ratatouille)
Gift note included with the second: "May you not be the next Lindsay Lohan."
Sunday, December 9, 2007
Oh and..
Fabrice Deville would be the winter bf, Sawyer would be the summer one, and Paul Rudd would be for the spring and fall!
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Oh hotness!
Hey since Kat posted a pic of whats-his-name-with-the-light-eyes from Lost on her blog (and I have to agree he is hot and has stunning, sensitive eyes even though he is probably a pretty boy who minces around in tighty whities), I gotta say that Josh Holloway, his costar, is very fine too. Arguably hotter! Which is fine cuz then Kat can have light-eyes and I can have Josh and all will be right with the world.
And while we're on this topic, some Fabrice Deville. Fabulous, gorgeous looking man. These photos do him no justice.. the movie Secret Things must be viewed for complete inspiration of awe.
And while we're on this topic, some Fabrice Deville. Fabulous, gorgeous looking man. These photos do him no justice.. the movie Secret Things must be viewed for complete inspiration of awe.
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Snowy Blind Date Day
It's December 1st today and the first day snow has stuck on the ground in my city! Went to school this morning and learned about protecting trees, from an arborist guest speaker. The lecture went overtime and my phone started ringing - it was two friends of mine who I'd set up on a blind date, calling to confirm the time and place. The guy is actually the boyfriend's friend and the girl is my friend, and we decided to send them off skating, which they are (hopefully!) doing right now!
My friend had a longterm boyfriend for several years. Then, it was reduced to 'friends with benefits' because that's all he had time for. So my friend wanted to end it once and for all and she did. But when she recently mentioned it was getting hard to say 'no' whenever her ex happened to want sexy times, and that it was hard to get back into the dating scene, I decided to get together with the boyfriend and go through his long list of male friends (surprisingly, few are single).. and came up with three possible guys to send her on a date with.
So the plan is to send her on another date or two after this, just for fun. I think I'm more excited than they are.. lol.. and I definitely wish someone had set ME up on blind dates when I was single!
In other Christmasy news, I'm REALLY happy to have gotten half my Christmas shopping done already! And that I've been able to get exactly what I wanted at really good (read: cheap!) prices. I got my dad a backpack for hiking, my mom some slippers and crayola model magic (for her preschool students), my dog some treats, and the boyfriend's mom some leather gloves. The rest of my shopping will include a sweater for mom, lindt lindor for boyfriend's mom, and gift cert for brother (for either gas, Canadian Tire or eBay.. I can't decide..he likes car parts, etc). Also something for the boyfriend. And boyfriend will get his dad a karaoke mike with built-in songs. I'll make chocolate covered orange peels using this recipe: http://smittenkitchen.com/2006/11/candy-girl for anyone else.
The boyfriend and I decorated his room with snowflakes, and we went hiking in the snow up a local mountain this past week. And I'm still busy lecturing him about his drinking habits. That reminds me, the other day I was awakened by a beeping noise but half-slept through it for a few hours. Then finally I woke up, searched for the offending device and after a long time, found the boyfriend's cellphone in some pants pocket. Since he was at work, I thought he might be texting me to bring him his cell.. so I checked the beeping message.. instead, it was the downstairs tenant (my ex-manager!) asking for 'a line.' (though I may not be hip, I'm privy to the lingo..and it doesn't mean fishing line!)
I knew the boyfriend had hooked him up with the vile substance before (3 yrs ago, when I first met him) and after a stern lecture, the hookups ceased. After many other lectures and threats, the boyfriend has pretty much given up doing coke as well (which seems to be hard given he's fully immersed in the club scene). So I immediately asked the boy if he was still supplying drugs to his friend. He assured me that no, he wasn't and he wouldn't have had he been home. So that made me feel relieved, and now I can just continue occasional lectures about simpler vices, like alcohol.
So I started out talking about snow and ended up with blow.. how did that happen? In any case, this holiday season is shaping up to be a nice one, with lots of time off work, snow on the ground, a decorated room, big yet fun designing projects due at school, gifts that don't break the bank, and no pressure from the family to do certain things like cook a big meal or go to Christmas Eve service. My mom and boyfriend somehow already let the cat out of the bag regarding what they each got me for Christmas..and want to give me the gifts early.. which I find amusing, yet endearing.
My friend had a longterm boyfriend for several years. Then, it was reduced to 'friends with benefits' because that's all he had time for. So my friend wanted to end it once and for all and she did. But when she recently mentioned it was getting hard to say 'no' whenever her ex happened to want sexy times, and that it was hard to get back into the dating scene, I decided to get together with the boyfriend and go through his long list of male friends (surprisingly, few are single).. and came up with three possible guys to send her on a date with.
So the plan is to send her on another date or two after this, just for fun. I think I'm more excited than they are.. lol.. and I definitely wish someone had set ME up on blind dates when I was single!
In other Christmasy news, I'm REALLY happy to have gotten half my Christmas shopping done already! And that I've been able to get exactly what I wanted at really good (read: cheap!) prices. I got my dad a backpack for hiking, my mom some slippers and crayola model magic (for her preschool students), my dog some treats, and the boyfriend's mom some leather gloves. The rest of my shopping will include a sweater for mom, lindt lindor for boyfriend's mom, and gift cert for brother (for either gas, Canadian Tire or eBay.. I can't decide..he likes car parts, etc). Also something for the boyfriend. And boyfriend will get his dad a karaoke mike with built-in songs. I'll make chocolate covered orange peels using this recipe: http://smittenkitchen.com/2006/11/candy-girl for anyone else.
The boyfriend and I decorated his room with snowflakes, and we went hiking in the snow up a local mountain this past week. And I'm still busy lecturing him about his drinking habits. That reminds me, the other day I was awakened by a beeping noise but half-slept through it for a few hours. Then finally I woke up, searched for the offending device and after a long time, found the boyfriend's cellphone in some pants pocket. Since he was at work, I thought he might be texting me to bring him his cell.. so I checked the beeping message.. instead, it was the downstairs tenant (my ex-manager!) asking for 'a line.' (though I may not be hip, I'm privy to the lingo..and it doesn't mean fishing line!)
I knew the boyfriend had hooked him up with the vile substance before (3 yrs ago, when I first met him) and after a stern lecture, the hookups ceased. After many other lectures and threats, the boyfriend has pretty much given up doing coke as well (which seems to be hard given he's fully immersed in the club scene). So I immediately asked the boy if he was still supplying drugs to his friend. He assured me that no, he wasn't and he wouldn't have had he been home. So that made me feel relieved, and now I can just continue occasional lectures about simpler vices, like alcohol.
So I started out talking about snow and ended up with blow.. how did that happen? In any case, this holiday season is shaping up to be a nice one, with lots of time off work, snow on the ground, a decorated room, big yet fun designing projects due at school, gifts that don't break the bank, and no pressure from the family to do certain things like cook a big meal or go to Christmas Eve service. My mom and boyfriend somehow already let the cat out of the bag regarding what they each got me for Christmas..and want to give me the gifts early.. which I find amusing, yet endearing.
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